Sobakawa Love

Ever since my hysterectomy and subsequent rapid decent into menopause-hood, my pillows were a bane of existence. Never keeping cool enough for my hot flashy self, feeling like lumps of rock like foam or paper thin piles of feathers, I despaired of ever finding a GOOD pillow again.

Then I took a chance and ordered a sobakawa pillow from Target.com. It was like I had been reborn! No more "hot pillow flashes" No more flipping and flopping trying to get the pillow to be comfortable again. The "aaaah" was back in my sleep.

Sure, there's a "learning curve" with the rattle of the buckwheat hulls but it quickly fades (I didn't hear it after the first night.) and all you have is happy comfort, support and a super refreshed feeling.

I adore my pillow. I think I need a few more of them. *G*

Sinful Scentsations

I thought I might take the time this week, to list my favorite Indie Perfumers. In no particular order...

Blooddrop
Mythos Mixtures
Pixie Potions
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (BPAL)
Happy Housewife Soap and Sundries
Villainess Soaps
Possets
Scent Addict (scent addict is actually comprised of several different indie perfumers in one convenient spot. Sometimes different companies will offer exclusives just for Scent Addict customers.)


These are some of my favorite places on the web. I've ordered from each and every one of these companies and have had wonderful customer service, awesome perfumes and great communication! You can't go wrong with any of these places.

Easy to do...so much to give

Bookmark this site today! Each click provides food for animals living in sanctuaries and shelters around America.

The Animal Rescue Site

Check out the other "daily click to give" sites including the Breast Cancer site, The Hunger site and The Literacy site.

Sinful Scentsations

Today's Sinful Scentsation is another by Mythos Mixtures.

Fir Tree is a Limited Edition scent for the Christmas season. Evoking the smells of Christmas trees, deep fir trees, candied apples and carnations tucked between the branches, Fir Tree is a wonderful testament to this season. M loves this scent so much that he instructed me to "go and get another bottle of this mkay?" So I did. *G*

It really is a nice scent. I thought that it might be too "candle scented" to be a good perfume but it's not at all like a candle. Very nice scent for the holidays. Go get it before it goes away!

Dear America...

Say goodbye to your Constitutional rights. The Supreme Court, the supposed defender of the Constitution, refused to hear the case regarding the eligibility of Obama to be President of the United States.

Now, I'm not saying that Obama is lying...really, I'm not. BUT I do find it rather suspicious that he won't show his birth certificate. And I think that the SCotUS needs to say, "look, put up or shut up here. Show the certificate and let's finally put this to rest."

But they won't. And I don't understand just why Obama refuses to say "look people, here it is. Deal with it, you're stuck with me for at least 4 years." I could accept that. But this pussyfooting around and the refusal to show just makes me think that there's strange things afoot at the Circle K.

Come on, Obama. Put up or shut up!

Sinful Scentsations

Today's Sinful Scentsation is Blooddrop's Cutie Patootie.

With "Watermelon, pineapple, pear, lemon and sweet orange all mooshed together to make an ultimate sweet candy scent!" Cutie Patootie is tooth achingly sweet. A perfect scent for anyone who likes to smell sweetly innocent with a hint of "Lolita". Heady with great throw, get this scent for the Teen in your life. She'll love ya for it!

Sinful Scentsasions- a weekly Webness

So, DogMom and The Captain both have a "weekly webness" thing going on on their blogs and have been poking at me to start up one of my own. So here's my weekly webness...Sinful Scentsations.


Today's Sinful Scentsation is Mythos Mixture's Golden Rose. Lush greens and heady yellow rose make up the perfume. It's like sticking your head into a florist's 'fridge and taking a big wiff. You can find this scent on their site under "Mythological Items".

Highly recommended for people who like floral scents, Golden Rose would be a great gift in lieu of that dozen roses for Valentine's Day. It'll last longer!

Looking for a book to read?

Try some of my favorites for this Holiday season. Remember, books make GREAT gifts too!

If you want to try something good and noir-ish with a bunch of good urban fantasy, go to The Dresden Files books by Jim Butcher. First one is Storm Front and second is Fool Moon. SERIOUSLY excellent books. So far there are 10 in the series and Butcher has said that he's planning on at least 20. Book 11 is due out in April.

Another couple of good series...

House of Night series by PC and Kristin Cast. First one is Marked and second is Betrayed. About a different kind of Vampyre where you are "marked" and your dna changes. Paganism does figure in these books and there's mild sex and language. There are currently 4 out and a 5th is due next year in hardback.

Mercy Thompson books by Patricia Briggs. Mercy is a VW Mechanic in these Urban Fantasy novels. She's also a Walker, a coyote to be exact. There are werewolves and vampires and even fae in these books. First is Moon Called, second is Blood Bound and third is Iron Kissed. Fourth is coming out early next year and it's called Bone Crossed.

There is another series set in the same "world" that deals with the Marrok (you'll learn about him) and his younger son Charles. First story is in the Anthology On the Prowl and the first book is called Cry Wolf. The series is called the Alpha and Omega series.

The Kitty Norville books by Carrie Vaughn. Kitty Norville is a disc jockey who is also a werewolf. First book is Kitty and the Midnight Hour, second is Kitty Goes to Washington. There are 4 currently out and 2 due out in Jan and Feb of next year.

I know I've talked about these before but the Rachel Morgan books by Kim Harrison are so so so excellent. First is Dead Witch Walking and second is The Good, the Bad and the Undead. There are 6 books out currently and book 7 is due early next year. I adore Rachel and hey...it's set in Cincinnati. How much better can that get? *G*

Sisters of the Moon series is by Yasmine Galenorn. They involve 3 sisters who are half human, half fey and are "secret agents" of the Fey crown. Witchling is first, Changeling is second, and Darkling is third. Dragon Wytch is the forth and the fifth book is due out either later this year or early next.

The Werecats books by Rachel Vincent are okay. I've only read the first, Stray, but have the second, Rogue, on my TBR pile. The third is due out early next year.

Many people like the Weather Warden books by Rachael Caine. Sort of an elementals meets the djinn and weather is involved type of book. I've only read the first couple and they were pretty good. I just got tired of waiting for the next and went on to something else and forgot about these. Ill Wind is the first and Heat Stroke is the second. There are 7 books in the series so far and all are out. No word on book 8 that I know of but I haven't really looked. *G*

Rachel Caine also has a Vampire series called the Morganville Vampires. I haven't read these but am told they're more of a YA book than an "adult" novel. Which is okay with me. So's Twilight. *G* First is Glass Houses.

The Vampire Acadamy books by Richelle Mead are great. So far there are 2 books in print and the third is due out this month. Vampire Acadamy is first, Frostbite is second and Shadow Kiss is the third. Totally engrossing. Has vampires and magic and dhampires.

The Noble Dead novels are more along the lines of Epic Fantasy and involve vampires, fey and dhampir. First book is called Dhampir, second is Thief of Lies and third is Sister of the Dead. There are 6 books currently in print in this series and the 7th is due out in Jan of 09.

More Epic Fantasy with Jim Butcher's other series, The Codex Alera. The Furies of Calderon is the first book, and in it we follow Tavi, a furyless boy of 15, as he begins on a journey to help save the world he knows. EXCELLENT books, in fact, I'm reading them right now to get ready for the 5th book's release later this month. Second book is Acadam's Fury and Third is Cursor's Fury. I love these books and wish I'd have bought them in hardback since they're now OOP in hardback and are very very hard to find. Don't let the "epic fantasy" scare you. These are not tedious books. They're fast and rousing and oh so addictive.

And last but very very much NOT least...

The Katie Chandler books by Shanna Swendson are very highly imaginative books where magic is all too real but most people have no clue that the person sitting next to them could be a fairy or a sprite or even that the gargoyle peering down at them is REAL and not just a stone figure. Katie Chandler sees all of this and more when she starts working in New York City...because Katie is a rarity in the world. A person so devoid of magic that she's a true mundane. But her life is FAR from mundane when she takes a job with Magic, Spells and Illusion, Inc. (MSI) as a "verifier", someone who can see through the magic to what really lies beneath. Enchanted Inc is the first book in this wonderful series. There's 4 books out so far and from reading her FAQ section, her current publisher isn't sure there will BE a book 5 unless sales of books 3 and 4 get stronger. The series is excellent and I highly recommend it. And I KNOW you'll want it on your keeper shelf! (there's also the possibility of a movie!)

Diabetes away!!!!!

Well, not really.

It'll be a month tomorrow since I learned I had developed Type II Diabetes. This month has been an interesting adjustment in the attitudes I have about life and how I interact with food.

I've lost 7.5 lbs since I was last weighed. That's awesome for a month loss. I know I'm still losing because my panties are getting REALLY loose. (hey DogMom, you might be getting some panties in the mail! No no you sicko, not USED panties. Panties that are still in the box. Sheesh.)

But food and I are really no longer adversaries. I'm learning that what I eat has both an immediate AND a long term effect on my body. Well, I KNEW it but now I'm experiencing it. So to speak. I'm realizing that it's the choices I make that affect every other aspect of this disease and that, just because I shouldn't have (name food) doesn't mean I CAN'T have it. I just have to have it in smaller quantities.

Again, this isn't anything NEW to me. It's just getting beat into my head a little harder is all. *G*

And the Byetta, despite the nausea side effect, is really quite nice. VERY easy to take (I give myself twice daily injections) and I notice a difference already.

So maybe this isn't the horror story I thought it would be.


Good.

The American Dream

Okay folks. I need some help here.

Can someone tell me just WHEN our inalienable rights went from "Life, Liberty and the PURSUIT of happiness" and became "Life, Liberty, and having happiness handed to you because, awwwwww it's just not FAIR that YOU POOR THING can't have a house and credit cards and all the food and games and stuff that you WANT because AWWWWWWWWWW you don't WANT to work because it's EASIER to let the Government hand you everything on a silver platter and, oh yeah, even THINK for you."

I just don't get it. Before this country was started, before those wonderful words Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness) were written, there was a law in the colony that stated "You don't work? You don't eat." Period.

Because those Colonists KNEW that the ONLY way they could make things work was for everyone to do their job! No, I'm not talking about the Communist stuff of "everyone works and everyone gets everything the same because we're all equals here" but the actual everyone does his best for the good of the community. You do your job, you get compensated for said job.

Just like it's SUPPOSED to be in this day and age.

But no no no. Everyone is EQUAL! The Declaration of Independence says we are! See???

Um. Yeah. I think you need to check your reading comprehension abilities. The DoI says that we're all CREATED equal. After that, we're supposed to make something of OURSELVES!

But *waaahhh* Suzi swam too fast and I couldn't swim that fast so I lost!!! (oh no dear, you won and Suzi won and Jimmy won and...and...)

Yeah, can't have any competition you know. EVERYONE has to be the very best! There's no such THING as competition in the "REAL WORLD" (Don't shiver children! She's just telling a spooky story.)

Saw an interview with Ted Nugent the other day (On Glenn Beck) and he was talking about a time when his son was in a swimming race and he swam fast and came in first.....or did he? (cue ominous music) Nope. He was disqualified...because he SWAM TOO FAST!!!!!!!

I'm not kidding you folks. That's straight from The Nuge's mouth. Talk about having blood shoot out of your eyes.

Oh and all the Liberal whiners that go on and on about McCain having "so many houses he can't keep track of 'em!"

Um. Excuse me but, isn't that pretty much the very definition of the American Dream? To freakin' SUCCEED IN LIFE??!?!?!?

Gah.

Be careful what you wish for...

So early this morning I said something about "how do you get the motivation back?" and that I'd lost focus and didn't have anything to fight for...yada yada.

Then, I get a call from my Doctor around 10:30. It's never good when the Doc calls you herself. Last time that happened, I found out I had cancer.

This time? This time I found out I have diabetes.

Dammit.

*SIGH*

Well, guess I found my focus again huh?

Birthday rambles

So. It's 12:08 Tuesday October 7th, 2008. I'm 39 today. Not quite so sure I'm ready for 39. I'm not old enough to be 39. I haven't gotten to BE what I wanted to be as a kid...*sigh*

Anyway, was talking with Mom tonight and lamented the fact that I was hanging onto 38 by a thread. Told her that I wasn't ready yet...that I didn't WANT to be 39 yet. She replied "well, just be thankful that you're ABLE to be 39."

Oh. Yeah. That.

3 years ago today I died. Well, the old me died. The me that was sick and had been sick for a very long time. In a mass of blood and fear and craziness, I died.

And then I woke up and things that should have gone on as normal didn't. I had cancer. The big "C". Whatever. It sucked and I was stuck.

But, looking back on the past three years, I didn't have the worst time of my life with the cancer. I had something to fight for, something to focus on, something that meant something. My life.

So when did that focus go away? Why did it fade? Is my life no longer worth fighting for, no longer meaningful? Don't I have MORE meaning now that I have M as my husband and the kitty kids?

I know that I've said over and over (ad infinitum) that I'm "going to lose weight" and I'm "going to exercise" and even I'm "going to take pictures of my work and make a website to sell stuff on". Oh and my all time favorite I'm "going to keep the house picked up and clean and make healthy dinners for M and I and work on the...blah blah blah"

What does it take to make this MEAN something to me? To shake me out of my doldrums and kick me in the ass and say WAKE UP YOU STUPID BRAINLESS BINT!! DON'T YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST COMMITTING SUICIDE SLOWLY???? (for some reason, I hear James Marsters saying this in Spike's voice. Mmmmmmmmm Spiky goodness. Ahem.)

Because I tell myself that...over and over. Mainly at night when I'm wide awake because M is snoring so loud and his breathing is stopping and I have to shake him (unless he's already shaking 'cause that's a usual) and I get up and go into my old room and hangout with the truckers on WLW while I play the DS or ruminate on my life and how it can be the best ever thing in all the world (Marriage to my Bunny) and the wide gaping shithole that I've been living with from this crapin' depression and...face it...laziness.

*sigh* I know it's going to get better. I actually AM taking the bull by the balls this time and getting a sleep study done. The Doc took all sorts of blood work to see how the arthritis is going and told me "I really think we're just going to have to defer to a rhumatologist this time." Which is fine with me...if I can just get rid of the pain and stop the dang arthritis from spreading.

And I know that ONE way I can help RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW is to lose weight. Gah. I know I CAN do it...now I just have to WANT to do it. Really and truly and foreverly (don't you love my made up words? *G*) want to lose the weight. Get into shape.

If only I could find the secret motivation formula that would kick in until the real stuff wakes up and realizes that I'm for SERIOUS this time.

Yeah. that.

*sigh*

At peace

At 5:45 this evening, Oscar passed onto the Rainbow Bridge quite peacefully. Before we went into the room, I was holding him and he sighed a little bit and put his head on my shoulder like he used to do as a kitten. He let me hold him throughout everything, except for the final bits. He needed to be stretched out a bit so the vet could find a vein that worked.

The Vet was super nice and treated Oscar with a great deal of dignity and respect. She explained the procedure even though we've been through it before. She gave Oscar the tranquilizer and left us alone to say our goodbyes before coming back in to give him the second injection.

I gave Oscar all the love I could in those final moments. I told him all about the big fat mice that couldn't run and the damn bird that he'd finally be able to catch. I told him what a good boy he always was and how very much I loved him and that there will never be another cat that will take his place. He'll be my forever baby boy.

And then, it was done. He was happy and healthy and chasing mice and hanging with his buddies again.

We buried him at Mom and Dad's. Dad had a beautiful spot all picked out and M dug the grave. I started to sob when M threw in the first bit of dirt and I couldn't watch as my beautiful baby boy was covered with dirt.

And then M took my hand, lead me back over to the graveside and said "let's say a prayer". And he thanked God for letting us have one of His angels in our lives and letting us care for him for a little while.

I know it was the right thing to do. He's happy now and I'll see him soon. Even if it's decades from now, I'll be with my baby boy again...soon.

Not been around

Sorry 'bout not being 'round lately, whiners. The body isn't playing nicely together. Not one thing, it's another.

But I'm out here...reading, thinking, yes...thinking! *G* ... getting perfumy orders in the mail.

Speaking of which...check out Blooddrops. I tried the order of Dandelion Wine that I received with my order. ZOMG smells like summer. YUM YUM. Do love. Tomorrow I may try the famous "Denny's after Rocky". Just HAD to get that one because...well...those of you who know me well know my love of Rocky. *G*

Off to bed now. Try to make la tum settle down and le migraine go. the. f. away!!!

I figured it out!

Okay, so in the world of "hatemail" or HTML, I can be rather dense.

But, as you can see my faithful Whiners, I figured out that damn cloud tag AND how to re-add my widgets. (actually, the widgets weren't hard. *G*)

But I figured it out after a tantrum the other night in an email to DogMom. *G* She's so very understanding about things...especially when I figure I'm just too stupid to do something. She's always there with an encouraging word. So, thanks DogMom!

And, just 'cause I figured it out...doesn't mean that I understand any of it. I just figured out how to follow the dang directions. *G* But I did it! Yay me!

Yet another day

Nothing remarkable to report for today. Nothing remarkable happened. Nothing earth shattering. Nothing.

But it was a pretty good day nonetheless. Just being slowly busy, took a nap (ahhh) and got a few things done. Sorta. *G*

Update on my Oscar monster...

He seems to be doing well. He visited M in the shower today. He hasn't done that in quite awhile and it used to be a daily event. He asked me for brush-brushes and sat "in" my lap. (between my legs...used to be his favorite spot.) All things that he hasn't done in awhile...so...here's hoping!

Of course, he still looks like and feels like a turkey carcass. I'm afraid to feed him too much protien because of his kidneys but the boy needs some weight put back on him!

The other cats are all doing well. Xander and Willow are slowly becoming friends with Aggie. Or is that the other way around? *G* Aggie is getting more tolerant as she realizes that the kittens will PLAY with her. Of course, when playtime is over (for Aggie) then it's OVER and she'll go into super bitch mode. But while they're playing, all is well and good.

The Bean (Willow) seems to have decided that MOMMY is her new favorite person. She's been sleeping with me and cuddling next to me on the sofa. Of course, this might have something to do with the "power of cheese" since Mommy shares and Daddy doesn't. *G*

Hopefully I'll be going "grocery" shopping at the Farmer's Market on Saturday. I'm tired of paying out the nose for bland tasting food. Granted, some of the stuff I've gotten lately hasn't been too bland, but for the most part I just want to support the local farmers and have fresh REALLY vine ripened tomatoes and other goodness on my plate.

There's a farm stand I want to check out tomorrow with my "chauffeur" J. Down in Eastgate off of Aicholtz road. Coincidentally, it's a part of the Aicholtz farm. *G* (interesting...google spell checker says that "Aicholtz" should be "Nicholas". Wonder how the heck they got THAT!)

Hmm. No other news or ponderings from me tonight. At least, not right now. Have a good night, Whiners. See ya tomorrow.

Fulfillment

So I was talking with M tonight as we were headed home from getting Oscar's medicine. I've been reading blogs from other friends and their friends...and their friend's friends...and it seems like so many people out there are really truly fulfilled by what they're doing in life.

Some are homeschooling their kids and yet still find time to pick berries and make jam and what sounds like an awesome strawberry lemonade concentrate. Others are child free and seem to have hobbies that fulfill them or give them something outside of themselves to perfect and enjoy.

M theorized that becoming fulfilled is easier for extroverts. That they find accomplishment in "outside" things. Not just outside the home but outside themselves. That for an introvert, it's more difficult because to be fulfilled, they need to not only be fulfilled outside of themselves but inside themselves as well.

I'm not sure if I agree with everything that M is saying. But, I have to say that the more I think about the "being fulfilled outside as well as inside [myself]" I can see where he's coming from. I know that, for me, just doing things to be doing them doesn't satisfy me. I want to take something away from the experience or I feel like I've just wasted my time.

But...then the question becomes, "what do I want to do that will fulfill me in a way that nurtures my inside as well as my outside needs?"

And that, my Whiners, is where I get bogged down. I'm STILL working on this dang 101 in 1001 list and...well...it's really going nowhere. I'm feeling so apathetic about things lately. I just don't care and...well...that's not good.

I'm tired of not caring about things. I want to care again but I feel like it's just too much trouble for not enough pay off. And dang it, I'm tired of feeling like that too.

How do you do it? How do you make yourself care again? How do you find just the thing that makes you feel fulfilled? How do you make your life meaningful again?

'Cause, let me tell you, I just ain't feelin' the meaningful.

Mmmm Oily goodnessssss

No no whiners...it's not greasy food...

It's indie perfumer Possets' lovely goodness...

I heard about Possets from some Ravelry mavens and thought "why the heck not?" So I wandered over to the site and...ZOMGoodness...so much lovely I couldn't decide. Besides, Fabienne is a Cincinnati gal...I had to try just to, you know, keep it in the 'Nati.

So I got some Possettes. High Tea, Silver Carnations, Gingerbread Crackhouse and the sister perfume, Gingerbread Whorehouse, Strawberry Heart and her Girl's Love series. (Limeys, Vanilla, Possets, Clubbing and Pink Pepper)I also decided on Maderia and Hyde Park, two of her Cincinnati series.

I fell in love at first sniff. I especially adore Strawberry Heart (no really? *G*) which goes on very very berry and dries down to a nice strawberry incense smell. Not that fake stuff you can get at Wallyworld, but the really good hand done stuff of specialty stores. Mmm.

High Tea smells like a nice big cold glass of Iced Tea with lemon. Some days it smells like Earl Grey...equally nice.

Silver Carnations smells just like carnations. Mom, who is NOT a perfume lover despite being a candle maven herself, sniffed it and said "yeah, I'd wear that!" *G* It's that spicy smell of good homegrown carnations. You used to be able to buy carnations that smelled like carnations but anymore, they've bred the scent right out of them. Pass on the dead blooms and pick up a bottle of Silver Carnations. YUM. You'll so thank me. :o)

I didn't care for Gingerbread Whorehouse. Something about it went "off" on my skin. However, if you like gingerbread and you like the smell of cheap success, this one might be for you. It's not bad...it's just not...me.

The Girls Love...Vanilla is VANILLA and more VANILLA. Yum. I don't like vanilla perfumes for the most part but...smokey bones is this a good vanilla. Smells like the GOOD extract Mom used to get from Mexico. M likes it as well. ;o)

The Girls Love...Limeys is very lime and very fresh. A nice scent that I'm going to have to try again before I make any definite decisions about it.

Those are the ones I've tried so far. I've been wearing Strawberry Heart 'cause I really just can't get enough of it. I'll have to ween myself off so I can try the others. *G*

Next up will be other indie oily goodnesses. Like BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab) and Cobalt Blends' Lux Vixen and Blooddrop. (I have an order coming from Blooddrop...she donates a percentage of sales of some of her products to cat charities. How could I resist? Fabienne of Possets does the same with her Penelope and Maggie scents. Maggie is s'more heaven. Penelope is caramel goodness. *happy sigh*)

I think I'm in love...

Found a "new" band today.

Enter The Haggis is an eclectic mix of rock, fusion, bluegrass, traditional Celtic fare, agitpop, folk, even Latin flavors (from their Bio page)

Check them out. I'm just...awed by this group. Rock...with a piper. And fiddle. and traditional rock stuff...

Especially check out "Martha Stewart" and "Marti's Last Stand"

Simon's Cat

I love Simon's Cat. So true...so true.

who am I

Your result for The Camelot Test...

Lancelot

Honourable and passionate. You never back down from a challenge. Your friends are very important to you. You believe in justice and duty far above your own personal security and comfort.

Congratulations! This was the most challenging result to get. You are one of a kind.

Take The Camelot Test at HelloQuizzy

Happy Blog day to me!

Heh...so here it is, Year 2 of my blog.

Where will I go? What will I do? Who will I be when this year ends and year 3 begins?

I wrote some time ago about the meme 101 in 1001. I've been stuck somewhere in the 80s and can't think of other things to put on my list so I've been putting off posting it.

Well, I'm going to take some time tonight and give it a total look see and try to figure out some other things. After that, (tomorrow) I'm going to post it and my start date. (tomorrow maybe. *G*)

Let's see where I'll be in 1001 days.

Wow...

Almost a year has past since I started this blog. I haven't really said anything of importance, haven't made any earth shattering discoveries about myself or really anything else...

But I've had fun. I've rediscovered my love of writing so I'm going to make a challenge for myself.

I will blog everyday for the next year. (well starting tomorrow since that's my blogoversary) It doesn't matter what I have to blog about, I will be out here either posting pictures or just chatting.

Let's see if I can stick with it. *G*

When in doubt...turn to The Word

It always steers me right...1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

NIV:

11 Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, 12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

ESV: (verse 10b)

But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more, 11 and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, 12so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

The Message (mostly just for fun...but this one does ring with me...)

11-12Stay calm; mind your own business; do your own job. You've heard all this from us before, but a reminder never hurts. We want you living in a way that will command the respect of outsiders, not lying around sponging off your friends.

and

KJV:

11And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

12That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.

Now...for the study of these verses and the meditation and prayer to understand just what they're saying to me. (well to everyone...but to me right now.)

Living Simply

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few months about simple living. I don't mean sustenance farming or anything like that. Just living simply. Not having to live our lives to the schedule of the TV or to rush from here to there and back again only to rush someplace else.

Looking around on the internet shows a plethora of blogs of women who are living simply. So I go out to look and 9 times out of 10, or even more likely 10 out of 10, the woman has children, mostly under the age of 10.

It's not that I can't learn anything from these women, but, most of their tips are for other SAHMs or even working moms. Homeschooling seems to be a huge topic as well.

So how does a happily child-free woman learn the "simple" life? Especially one that's home anyway (I have an AMAZING husband!) yet doesn't have a concept of where to begin. Nor do I have the strength most days due to (undiagnosed at this time) fibromyalgia.

How does one simplify? What do I give up? What do I retain? How do I go about doing the things I want to do if I can't lift a shovel or sometimes even a knitting needle?

I guess I need to think this out some more. Decide just WHAT I want to simplify and why. (I know that bills will be a BIG part of it!)I need to get a schedule down...sleeping, cleaning, decluttering...one thing at a time.

*sigh* It'll come. I know it will.

WHEW

We are finally married!! Yay!

The day was wonderful. So full of love and life and family...none of the drama that I was terrified would happen, actually happened. *whew*

Married life is an adjustment. M and I never shared a bed even though we lived together for 10 years. We were good! I swear! *G* So of course, having slept by myself for 38 years, it's a total adjustment to start sharing a bed with someone. There are great perks...besides THAT one! *G* I love the "2 am reach" as DogMom calls it. Where, at 2 when you wake up and can't figure out where you are and your heart starts beating a thousand beats a minute and you're starting to freak out and you reach out and...oh happy day!...there he is ready to cuddle you in his strong arms and to chase the nightmares away.

And we've had our first major appliance failure already. *sigh* Our 'fridge died sometime Sunday night/Monday morning. The very nice gentleman (and he really was a gentleman!) who came to fix it said "after all the parts 'n labor, you'd put in more than 1/2 of what you'd pay for a new one. Probably around the same amount actually." So that's what M and I did Monday night. We got a new Whirlpool fridge, nice and pretty and bright. Deeeeep with lots and lots of space in the freezer and 'fridge part. My favorite part is the in door ice maker. Gives the freezer TONS more space. And we needed it since I tend to buy meats when they're on extreme sale and package them up for later use.

God was good to us because Mom and Dad, those lovely, wonderful parents of mine, gave us a wedding present (besides my KitchenAid mixer that I've drooled over and wanted for ages 'n ages.)that pretty much covered the new 'fridge. So, if you're reading this M&D? THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

Anyway, it's been a nice adjustment so far. *G*

Is it over yet??

Man. I love the fact that I'm getting married and really, I pretty much like the fact that I'm having a realio wedding.

But damn. Is it over yet?

I'm exhausted.

reviews

I've done reviews on here before. I've done them on my other couple of blogs (see list at the left *G*) as well.

I'm still constantly amazed at the things that people will review that I've never thought of reviewing.

Like nail polish. I found hundreds of sites for nail polish reviews. Even a really cool one called Community Nail Polish Gallery. Check it out...gives you everything you could ever hope for in nail polish stuff.

4 more days

or so!

I can't believe it's less than a week before the wedding!! This Saturday...man...I can't wait.

Of course, M's Mom and Dad aren't able to make it due to Dad F's health. *sigh* Poor M. I know how much he wanted his Dad there. Thank goodness that Captain Spaulding was good enough to step in as "Best Man Proxy". I don't know what I'd have done. As it is, I'm so stressed that I have 2 cold sores and the lysine isn't working and neither is the abreva. So I called the Doc and sniffled at her and she called in some Valtrex for me! Thanks Doc!

Got some Lil 'Kinz tonight for my Webkinz. I now have the 3 shorthair lil 'kinz cats and the black lab puppy lil 'kinz. *G* I'm such a child. But it's fun. If you haven't played with Webkinz...it's a totally safe environment for kids...there's interaction but it's all scripted. And you don't have to interact with anyone. I only do with the nieces and an "adult" (I put that in quotes 'cause SHE has more 'kinz than I do! Something like 39!!) friend of mine.

You can do all sorts of things on Webkinz. My favorite is digging for gems. *sigh* I wish you could do it all the time but alas...you're only allowed to dig once a day. *G* I need one more white gem to get all the white gems for the "legendary crown of wonder!!!"

Okay...off to watch MASH.

Less than a month to go

Well campers, I have less than a month left of my eternal spinsterhood! LOL I can't wait until M and I FINALLY tie the knot.

Pretty much everything is done. Of course, my beloved DogMom, the Honourable Matron of Honor of mine, went and borked herself last weekend. Poor Punkin'.

SOOO, my hopes and dreams for a wedding day where no one was hurt, got cancer, or anything like that went up in smoke. Or down in water. Or whatever. But that's okay. I'm just glad that DogMom's okay and stuff.

Other than that, I've been busy with wedding stuff, ordering things from firemountaingems.com to make presents and my wedding jewelry and just basically lazing about trying to remember what the hell I'm supposed to be doing NEXT.

Oh yes...More James

I think it's about time to post some more pictures of the most delish guy on TV. What do y'all think?



Love this one:



One day I'll see him in concert...



And what are pictures of James without a "Spikeish" one?



That's all for now...I have MANY more to share laters...*G*

I'm so stupid

Yesterday was DogMom's birthday and I didn't even wish her a Hippo Birdie here in my blog. *sigh* I iz sowwy DogMom. No really...see???


see more dog pictures

In other news...not really news but whatever...I'm officially nervous about the wedding. Not about getting married. I'm excited about that. I'm nervous about all the details that are still MISSING.

"Like what", you ask? Well. Frex, I don't have a caterer. I don't have invitations. I don't have favors, my dress (even though THAT is on order), shoes, undergarments...I could go on but my head is ready to explode.

I made M promise to give me ALL of Saturday just for ME to decide what to do and where to go. He's not allowed to complain about anything. I told him he could take the laptop and/or the DS and I'd do the stuff myself, but he's not allowed to complain.

We'll see how long it lasts. IF it actually happens. *sigh*

Uh Wow.

It's almost been a month. So much has happened, and yet, so much hasn't happened.

Oscar has been diagnosed with CHF and Cardiomyopathy. He's on a diuretic and a heart pill. The diuretic is a bitch because...well his kidneys are being affected by the diuretic but I can't give him the IV fluids because he has the CHF.

On the plus side, he's like a different kitty. His breathing is MUCH better and he's getting perkier. I know that it's still a matter of time, but I'm hoping for years instead of hours.

In other news, wedding plans are chugging along. I can't believe we upped the date to June 28th. WTH were we thinking? *G* I can't wait though.

Speaking of himself, he's yelling for me. I'm sure one of the cats is in trouble.

More later...I hope. *G*

Product Review - Wild Cherry M&Ms

These are limited edition M&Ms that I found last night at the gas station. Of course, being the person I am, I had to try them.

Getting back into the car, I showed M the little baggie of M&Ms. "Cherry?" Yep. Cherry. I opened the pack slowly. You could smell the cherry smell as soon as the pack was breached.

I had one. It was actually pretty dang good. Tastes like a chocolate covered cherry. The gal at the counter said they left a bad taste in her mouth but I didn't experience that at all.

All in all, the one I ate was pretty good. I may have to try them again. I gave the rest of the pack to M since I didn't want too much chocolate before bed.

Good googly moogly

It's been ages since I've posted. Sorry 'bout that. Not that I'm interesting or anything but, sometimes it's just nice to read something "different". *G*

So, I've been thinking about doing this 101 things in 1001 days thingie that I saw on the internet. Here's a web link for those of you who are scratching your heads. It just seems like a...well neat thing to do. I'm such a list person even though I never really get around do doing what's on my lists. Or I should say I USUALLY don't get around to it. Sometimes I do most of a list and then lose interest.

I guess I'm hoping for motivation for this. One of the "rules" is that your list items must be complete and realistic goals for your life. Meaning that you have to actually sit and THINK about them, you can't just write "declutter". Declutter what? Where? How often? Those types of questions.

And I've always been one to steer away from "those" types of questions when I'm making a "to do" list. I never get very specific.

M says, in his "joking" manner, "impossible! You'd have to do like one thing every ten days!" LOL that's sort of the point hon.

I'm tired of not DOING the things I've been wanting to do. Like learning to bake bread from scratch or planting a kitchen garden so I can have fresh veggies in the spring and summer. Oh I talk about it all the time. I read the books, 'cause of course if it's a book I'll read it, but I never get around to DOING it.

I think the last thing I decided I wanted to learn to do and actually did it was learning to knit. And we all know how far THAT went. I think I've completed 4 or 5 things in the 3 years since I've learned. Well, except for the extremely easy dishcloths. I've accumulated enough yarn to make 50 or so projects, if they're big projects, but I don't DO anything with it. So, I'm going to make that one of my, or maybe many of my, list items.

This just seems like an unique challenge to me. I might even get to the really big things like my weight and the *sigh* house. *G*

That's all for now. Gonna go watch the cats be curious about their new water fountain. I might even take some pictures.

Updates updates

So Oscar is doing better. He's really doing well when I give him his infusion. Friday he was a bit squirmy but I think he moved the needle and that made it hurt some. I'll be more aware tomorrow to make sure the needle doesn't move at all.

He's starting to eat his kidney food. I have to heat it in the microwave for 10 seconds and then mash it up and build it into a little pyramid with a tiny bit of the other cat's gooshy gravy. But at least he's eating it.

Aggie tried to get at Oscar's food last night. She was most displeased when I told her only Oscar gets to eat this food. Not a happy kitty girl. But, oh well.

Other than that, things are okay here. Going to ask M if we can head out to Home Despot to look at gardening things. I want to build a patio type garden in our backyard so I have something to do other than write or do housework all day. I'll post pictures if it ever gets done. *G* You know me, Madam Procrastination.

Oscar's Visit to the Vet redux

So M and I just got back from the vet's office where I learned to give Oscar his fluid injections. I'd say it was easy peasy lemon squeezie but...even though I didn't have any trouble at all, I started to shake. (thankfully AFTER the injection was done.)

M on the other paw...well...let's just say that *I* will be the only one giving the fluids. He turned a VERY interesting shade of grey and then had to leave the room while the solution was flowing.

Oscar did very very well. He growled a bit while I was holding him for the injection and during the flow but even though he's still pretty unimpressed with me, he's letting me love on him. *G* I think he knows that it wasn't pleasant for ANY of us and that it's going to make him feel better.

I still wish (of course) that I didn't HAVE to do any of this, but it's really nice to know that I CAN do it.

Oscar's test results

Well, the good news is, he doesn't have diabetes or thyroid disease.

Bad news is he has kidney disease.

Good news again is, it's chronic kidney disease.

Bad news again is that no one knows when it will turn into end stage kidney disease.

So.

We go tomorrow night to learn how to give Oscar some subdural injections of fluid to help his kidneys work more efficiently and to get some prescription food for him to eat.

More tomorrow.

Oscar's Visit to the Vet

He was a really good boy on the way to the vet. Had some complaints until he found a comfy spot on Mommy's lap. Then it was "sniff sniff sniff" at the crack in the window that Mommy put down for him. He perked up when he saw my parent's house (where he grew up and was an indoor/outdoor kitty) and the fields he used to run around in and catch "miceies".

We got to the vet and he was being so good. He was on his leash and he hopped out of the car and started walking for the door just as calm as you please. Then he must have realized that he wasn't home and he tried to dart under the car. Heh heh heh. That's where having a leash is good. Poor boy. I scooped him up and carried him in to the office. Everyone made a big deal out of him (he is a handsome little boy) and we were taken into a room right away because a silly young Lab puppy was coming in and the Dr didn't want Oscar scared.

Finally it was our turn to be seen. He had his temperature taken...was SO not happy with that...and had his weight checked. He's down 2 lbs from when we last weighed him. I knew he had lost weight but not that much.

The Dr came in and gave him some exam time. Checked his thyroid and his tummy area. Took him back into the lab area and got some blood from him. My GOODNESS you could feel the floor shake from his VERY angry meows. NOT a happy boy.

Vet said that there is SOMETHING wrong but until the blood tests come back, she's not sure just what it could be. The three biggies for older cats are Thyroid Disease, which is treatable and curable, Diabetes, which is treatable but not curable, and Kidney disease which is neither very treatable nor curable.

She said that he has SLIGHT symptoms but they're so slight that, without the blood work, we won't be sure. So, pins 'n needles until tomorrow or Thursday.

Dear God, please don't let it be kidney disease.

Gads I'm boring

I really am the most boring blogger in the blogosphere, aren't I?

I've done nothing of note. Nothing worthy of talking about. Nothing anyone would really want to hear about. I'm boring.

And yet...

I like me. Today. Yesterday was a different story. Today, I'm liking me. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Bought a book today

Well, technically I bought it last week after watching Oprah but it CAME today. (I adore Amazon.)

Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat? By Peter Walsh. I'm only into the first chapter but I keep putting the book down to THINK about my clutter. It's amazing how he seems to be talking directly to ME.

I remember once telling my Mom that my horribly cluttered room was "an outward expression of my inward turmoil." I can't believe that I understood it back then and yet never did ANYTHING about it.

My apartment wasn't cluttered (until M moved in that is) and I took great joy in the fact that I did my dishes every night and put them up every morning, vacuumed every other day (Oscar's fur you know. And then Emmy's) kept my bedroom looking neat and tidy.

Heck, even at work I was organized. Believe it or not. I HAVE the basics. I just haven't put them into practice.

I think most of it is because I feel overwhelmed. Well, that and M doesn't seem to care about the mess and really, after I CLEAN the mess he just goes and makes another mess and forgets about it until I come in and blow up. I need to remember that he's not yet on board but with perseverance and practice (and perhaps a bit of bitching) he'll see how nice it is to have an organized house and will help me out by not leaving his pants in front of the 'fridge. (I know...I know. I have no clue either. Why in the HECK did he drop trou there? *shrug* I can't figure him out sometimes.)

Off to read more of this book. I'm anxious to see how he works the fat in your house and the fat on your body together.

Remembrance

It's been 30 years but I still remember. It haunts me day to day, whether in my conscious thoughts or in my subconscious doings, but it haunts me still.

I was 8 but I remember it as if it were yesterday, I remember what I was wearing, what I was doing. I close my eyes and I can see your face, hear your words, feel your touch...

and it makes me shudder. It makes me hate you, makes me seethe with an unholy fury so deep set that I feel nauseated from the sheer force of it.

I was 8 you bastard. 8 years old and you touched me. You made me feel that I was a bad person, that my parents would be mad at me if I didn't let you "help" me with my panties. I can feel your sticky hot breath on my cheek as you run your hand over my labia, run it up under my dress to where my breasts would be had I actually been a woman, as you put your hand back on the place no man should have ever touched until I was old enough to consent, old enough to know better.

I hate you. I hate what you made me into, what you made me feel. What you still make me feel. The self loathing, the hatred I feel for myself for being that stupid...that trusting. That I can trust again is nothing short of amazing. I feel like I can't love myself because of the shit you pulled.

To have to look at your idiotic leer Sunday after Sunday. To sit there and see people act as if you're a good man, someone to be trusted, someone who could never do wrong because, after all, you ARE a Christian, right? You would never do something like that to any little girl...right?

I see you and I find myself fantasizing about your death. Oh no, not at my own hand, but just that you're dead and gone. That I'd never have to look at you again. Never have to have you leer at me with that knowing look.

And that makes me even sicker and angrier at myself. To wish someone dead. That isn't what I want to be about, isn't what I know to be good and true, what Christ wants His people to feel.

But maybe, just maybe, when you're gone I can finally find some peace within myself.

Although it will never bring back that innocence lost 30 years ago.

And now...for a quick dilemma...

I'm getting ready to head off for ambien land. The kittens, who have been lounging around all evening, in peaceful somnolence, have just now figured out that if you get the jingle ball and take it into Mommy's bathtub...it rolls around REALLY fast and makes all sorts of happy jingle sounds!!!

So, do I hope that they get tired of jingle ball in the bathtub, or do I take it away for the night and give it back tomorrow when there's daylight and Mommy's head doesn't feel like exploding???

Eh, I'm a sucker. They can keep it in the tub...unless they start fighting. :oD

Little stinkers. I'm so twisted around their paws. Same with the big stinkers since Aggie just came in and indicated that treat time was TOO SHORT MOM! *G* So, last treats and then *I* am hitting the sack.

G'nite.

My "lightbulb" moment

Well, sort of. *G* I've had this particular one before...but it's a little brighter now.

I am FINALLY feeling MUCH MUCH better. The liquid gold in pill form and the inhaler seem to be working. (seriously $100 for 7 freakin' pills)

So today I slept a bit, got up and wandered around the house feeling lost and uncomfortable. I couldn't figure out what was going on but I was frustrated with myself and on the verge of tears when I started looking at the tv area and what an absolute mess it had become. Crap everywhere. And I do mean crap. Candles that have been burnt until they can't be burnt anymore, old soda bottles that I was "fighting" with M about throwing away. (he brings in his soda bottles and sometimes the paper cups from fast food joints and leaves them on the TV stand. GRRRR) Anyway, I got a trash bag and just started to toss.

With each thing I tossed, I grew lighter and lighter. Finally I had the hand upside the head moment....the CLUTTER is making me unhappy! "Well DUH, K (I said to myself) this isn't exactly a NEW thought now is it?" So the momentum grew. My TV stand, the DVDs, the CDs, the video game consoles, the cat toys (and toy basket) and the surrounding area is now rather clean. Almost devoid of clutter. I say almost because I'm sure I could get a few more things out of there. (*wink* like M's DVDs that he never ever ever watches...LOL) But even though there's still STUFF there, it's not CLUTTERED stuff. It's nicely organized stuff. Happy making stuff. :o)

And Whew I'm tired. *G* I still have the trouble of remembering that everything does NOT have to be done in 12 hours. It can take 48-72 or even longer. Just so long as SOME is done everyday. Then I will keep my head road going and I'll keep the happy growing.


(heh, and I had a phone call with Mom earlier to tape Oprah (the second showing) 'cause it's about the clutter making you fat. I SO need this show!!!)

I'm Back...

Hello! I'm back from weeks 'n weeks of fighting bronchitis. It's probably pneumonia by now but at least I'm feeling better!

I have to give a shout out to my dearest friend DogMom. Her blog has been awesome lately. I highly recommend reading it if just for the sheer pleasure in the beauty of her words.

Other than that, I've just been here doing not much. I have to get back in the swing of things and play catch up on a lot of the household stuff. *sigh* It never ends does it?

*cough cough*

So I've been sick yet again. It seems that I get rid of one URI only to pick up another, harsher one. This time I was "lucky" and got the bonus of bronchitis! Yay me! *sigh*

I'm on my second round of antibiotics for this round of sickness. The wheezing seems to have let up so I guess they're working.

Other than that, I've been utterly boring. Just reading (the Codex Alera books by Jim Butcher. A MUST read!!!) and watching the last of season 5 of Buffy. Man...the ending of the season...the look on Spike's face...breaks my heart every time.

So now I'm on season 6 and I'm up to Once More with Feeling. I'm not sure if I'll watch it again even though it's one of my favorites. I really want to get to the episodes I haven't seen yet. Doublemeat Palace brings me to that point.

So, that's where I am for now.

I can't believe I...well yeah, I guess I can

Okay people. Heads up here.

When you're asking someone for some input or an opinion on a situation or dress color, you are asking for ADVICE.

If you are the person being asked for advice you are being asked to ADVISE someone.

Please, for the love of my sanity, quit getting the two of these mixed up.

Thanks ever so much,

The Mgmt.