Figured out how

So, last night M and I were hanging out in bed and he was feeling a bit...uh...frisky. Sadly, I'm in a bad fibro flare and was feeling anything BUT. Just the touch of his hand made me want to cry and I felt HORRIBLE that I had to turn him down.

We lay there for a bit and I asked him if he was mad at me. He of course said "NO!" and then after a minute he asked "what is it like?"

I thought about it for a bit and then came up with this...

Do you remember how you felt when you were in the typing lab at school? How the typing, while in the background, was enough to send you over the edge? How sometimes you were lucky and it faded into static that you could still hear but wasn't enough to actually bother you but most of the time you wanted to rip people's fingers off?

He replied "yeah"

I responded: That's what the pain is like. It's constantly there even if it's not at the forefront. I'm never free of it...it's there like a time bomb just clicking down the seconds. It drains me of any will to do the activities I really enjoy, most especially the physically active ones but even the mental ones like reading. Sometimes I hurt so badly all I can do is lay in the bed and whimper because the "clacking of the keys" makes me want to shoot myself in the head just so it would END once and for all.

He then blinked at me a few times and said, in a quiet voice, "damn. I knew you were strong but...damn."

Funny...I don't feel strong. I'd rather have that than what I have... :o)

And the grump of the day

So, Sunday I was playing with my iPod and it suddenly decided to turn itself off. When I finally was able to get it back on, I couldn't connect to the wi-fi at all. So, M and I tried all of the steps involved in restoring everything including syncing and restoring the complete device.

I was told that, if I synced it BEFORE restoring, everything would be in my iTunes folder and I wouldn't lose any apps or music.

Yeah. Right.

Not only did I lose EVERYTHING, the iPod STILL won't connect to the wi-fi. I call and am told "Oh, you need to have it repaired. You need to send it to...blah blah blah" I didn't even really get a chance to hear how much it would cost. I DID hear that I wouldn't actually get MY iPod back, no, I'd get a refurbished one. Um. I don't care for that at all. I know it's standard but still. I've had my iPod about a year! Shouldn't it still be under warranty??

M said "well perhaps we'll just get you a new one. You want a 4thGen right?" Yeah, yeah I do and I also would like a pony and a lollipop and for rainbows to shoot from my ass when I fart.

Because I KNOW the reply will be "well, we don't have the money right now" and I'll be iPodless for a year or so.

Cleopatra Exhibit at the Cincinnati Museum Center

This past Saturday the Husbunny and I went to see Cleopatra. It's been a VERY long time since I've been to the Museum Center but I was excited. I love learning and Cleopatra is one of my favorite subjects.

The exhibit was amazing. I can't even begin to tell you what it felt like to be in a room full of artifacts that are older than the Disciples. One of the granite pieces was a type of sanctuary for Maahes a Lion shaped god. The hieroglyphics were breathtaking. I stood in front of the piece for about 10 minutes just absorbing the detail and the almost pristine nature of most of the glyphs. I WISH I could have taken a photo of this piece alone but, alas, no photos were allowed. *sigh*

The jewelry was, of course, an interest of mine. There was a ring that astounded M with its detail and the fact that, if seen in a store today, it wouldn't be out of place or "antique". There was a pendant bead that was smaller than my pinkie nail but was so intricately carved it almost looked machine made.

It was an amazing exhibit and I wouldn't mind going again. Total love!