Depression truly sucks

It's been 4 weeks since Aggie was lost. I've pretty much given up hope that she'll ever come home. Maybe she will and maybe she won't. I just wish she was here now.

I'm so depressed I can barely move. I don't know how to talk about it. I don't know to whom I can talk about it. I try to talk with M but he's on his own kick about something...I don't know what...can't really figure it out...

He tries to listen and to console and to help...but it doesn't help. It just makes me more depressed.

I went out in the sun today to try and help lift the depression but...it worked for about 20 minutes and then I was right back to where I was before the "exposure".

Trying to talk to Mom about it would just return to "well you need to trust God". Um duh? *G*

I do trust God for everything. I talk to Him about the depression and what I can do about it but...it seems everlasting. I just can't shake it.

I want to talk with BF about it (and yes, I know you're reading this) but she's going through so much right now...I just find it hard to lay stuff on her. She's so depressed and hurting that it just seems wrong to dump on her. It makes me feel all competent 'n stuff. NOT. LOL

But. Depression sucks. It hurts. It reeks.