Fulfillment

So I was talking with M tonight as we were headed home from getting Oscar's medicine. I've been reading blogs from other friends and their friends...and their friend's friends...and it seems like so many people out there are really truly fulfilled by what they're doing in life.

Some are homeschooling their kids and yet still find time to pick berries and make jam and what sounds like an awesome strawberry lemonade concentrate. Others are child free and seem to have hobbies that fulfill them or give them something outside of themselves to perfect and enjoy.

M theorized that becoming fulfilled is easier for extroverts. That they find accomplishment in "outside" things. Not just outside the home but outside themselves. That for an introvert, it's more difficult because to be fulfilled, they need to not only be fulfilled outside of themselves but inside themselves as well.

I'm not sure if I agree with everything that M is saying. But, I have to say that the more I think about the "being fulfilled outside as well as inside [myself]" I can see where he's coming from. I know that, for me, just doing things to be doing them doesn't satisfy me. I want to take something away from the experience or I feel like I've just wasted my time.

But...then the question becomes, "what do I want to do that will fulfill me in a way that nurtures my inside as well as my outside needs?"

And that, my Whiners, is where I get bogged down. I'm STILL working on this dang 101 in 1001 list and...well...it's really going nowhere. I'm feeling so apathetic about things lately. I just don't care and...well...that's not good.

I'm tired of not caring about things. I want to care again but I feel like it's just too much trouble for not enough pay off. And dang it, I'm tired of feeling like that too.

How do you do it? How do you make yourself care again? How do you find just the thing that makes you feel fulfilled? How do you make your life meaningful again?

'Cause, let me tell you, I just ain't feelin' the meaningful.