I've been feeling down lately. I'm not sure if the effexor isn't working well anymore or if the absence of the byetta (and the resulting sugar rises and weight gain) is causing it, but I'm depressed.
I've found myself avoiding God, not reading, not praying, not even really talking with Him. I know this is not only a symptom of my depression, but also a cause of it. A never ending circle that just winds tighter and tighter with satan giggling over in the corner enjoying it all.
So I've been forcing myself to read the Bible but even what I'm reading feels like it's making the depression worse. I read some of the Psalms last night and that really helped but I want the words of Jesus, I want the Gospel, I want to be happy again.
And I don't know what to do.
Who do you go to to talk with when you feel like there's no one there? Who to you go to when you want an actual voice to respond?
And who do you go to when your spouse is desperately trying to understand but is a bit too involved with his gaming and other aspects of his life to really *listen* to you?
And when your best friend is even more depressed because of horrible job stuff and being away from her family for 4 days out of the week and you just don't want to burden her with MORE. (and shut up DogMom. This is me ranting here. ;o) )
I don't feel well. I just want to feel...NORMAL...again. Whatever the hell "Normal" is. I want it.
To whom do you go?
Posted by Kae at 5:10 PM
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Labels: Bible, depression, diabetes, DogMom, God, Himself, medication, sad
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As much as I would like to fix it, I just can't. But you KNOW you can always call me. Even when I'm all depressed and stuff.
Read the Gospel. You said you wanted it, so read it. Start with John, and read.
"Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have hthe words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” " John 6:68-69
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