Major sale

I'm getting ready to sell off a TON of my perfumes from my favorite companies. I love these companies but these perfumes just aren't working for me so I want to let them go to new homes where they will be loved.

Watch my blog for the list! Coming soon!

You, Mr. President, are NOT what you say you are.

Back before Obama became a Presidential Candidate, I saw him on the Oprah show. He had just been elected Jr Senator for IL and, as I half listened to the show, (can't remember what else I was doing at the time) he sounded sincere and like someone I wanted to know more about. I even considered, just from hearing him speak on Oprah, to vote Democrat if he were ever a Candidate.

Thank goodness I did my homework. The man is a sham. He's already shown, in less than a month of Presidency, that he has no freaking clue what he's doing. That his morals are so beneath what he proclaimed them to be on the campaign trail. That he's so dang stupid about his "choices" for key cabinet positions. Honestly Mr. President? Not one, not two but three (and probably more) choices of people who, state that to be a good patriotic American, one has a DUTY to pay their taxes...and then the do NOT PAY THEIR TAXES? You think that these people, who apparently have the commonsense of a Canadian Goose flying into an engine turbine of a jet, would make good contributions to our country? People who have demonstrated time and again that what's sauce for the goose ("regular" Americans) certainly isn't sauce for THEM.

Look, Zippy, it's this clear. Stop thinking that you're the savior of the world. You're not. You don't have a clue on how to handle the "economic crisis" that we're going through. You're going to spend us into a Depression far worse than FDR sent us into. You're going to cost MILLIONS of INNOCENT people their jobs with the pork that you're tossing into this spending bill. You're giving in to the ridiculous mind-set that has overtaken the American people. That it doesn't matter what you do, you're not responsible for your actions. Someone else (usually the good taxpayers...Conservatives) will clean it up for you. Need a house? Can't pay for it? Oh, that's okay, we'll give you one and then, when you get kicked out because...well golly gee you can't pay!...we'll lambaste the EVIL corporations for "stealing" your RIGHTS! Shame upon them!

Give it a break, Zippy. It's not the corporation's fault that these people are losing their homes. It's GOVERNMENT'S fault for pressuring mortgage companies into providing bigger mortgages than people could reasonably pay for. It's people's fault for living in a never ending cycle of debt. As Michelle Malken says "Why should my (or in my case my husband's) tax dollars go to feed the housing entitlement beast?"

My husband works HARD for his money and I work hard keeping our house so that he doesn't have to worry about the "little things" and can concentrate on doing his very best at work. I think we should ALL refuse to participate in Zippy the wonder president's "redistribution" plan. I have compassion for the poor. But I don't want to hand them the fish for the day. I want to teach them to fish for the future.

Rather than spend billions (gasp) on welfare programs that do nothing but perpetuate the problem into the 3rd and even 4th and 5th generations, why can't our Government look for ways to help retrain the people who are losing their jobs, like the auto workers, for other jobs that will bring them back to where they should be. Proud of who they are and what they work towards.

But that's too easy for the Liberal, Socialist, Marxist, Obama. He wants YOU to work for THEM. Heck with YOUR children's college tuition. Heck with YOUR retirement fund. You have to give up just about everything that you've worked for over your lifetime for those who feel entitled to have exactly what you have. Not that they want to work for it...oh no...they want YOU to just GIVE it to them. Or more specifically, for the Government to TAKE it from YOU and GIVE it to THEM.

To quote Ms Malkin again "Home ownership is not an entitlement. Credit is not a civil right. Your property-value preservation is not my problem. Can I get an "Amen!"?"

Byetta and the Ins company

As many of my friends know, I've been fighting with Humana over getting an authorization for the Type 2 Diabetes drug, Byetta. They say that my numbers are "too good" for me to qualify but they're not realizing that my numbers are the result of me being ON the Byetta in the first place.

Anyway, Monday I went to talk with my Doctor (who is totally behind me in this) about options. I figured I'd get myself all loaded up with facts (and I'm hell on the research!) and present them to her. Then I thought that there might be people searching for help in getting Byetta approved for themselves and I decided to post my reasons I NEED the Byetta.

Why I need the Byetta

1. We know that it works. And it works without side effects.

2. The test results that were sent to the insurance company were from when I was on the Byetta. If that’s what they’re judging the authorization on, then they need to realize that those numbers are because of the Byetta

3. Without the Byetta, I am constantly hungry with HORRIBLE cravings for junk, I’m irritable, more depressed (last Friday I had a very bad episode), constantly thirsty to the point where I can hardly sleep because I’m either getting up for water or to urinate. My 30 day average blood glucose was 130+

4. When I was on the Byetta, I could feel my life getting better. My depression lessened considerably, I had more energy and was sleeping MUCH better than I have in years. I never woke with a headache as I have been doing since being off the Byetta. (every morning) I had weight loss but, compared to the depression lifting and the increased energy, that’s almost insignificant to me. (Not that I don’t love that side effect!)

5. Because of the constant hunger even after eating a big meal, I think that there might be something else that the Byetta is treating other than just the blood glucose. It’s like my “hungry switch” is turned off and I actually feel FULL. Something I haven’t felt in well over a decade. For the first time in my life, I’ve actually FORGOTTEN to eat! I’ve never EVER had that happen!

6. It’s easier to make the correct choices for health when you’re not ravenously hungry all the time.

7. My A1C had a HUGE drop while on the Byetta.

8. I don’t want to futz around trying this drug or that drug. I don’t have TIME to do that since I’m not yet 5 years past my last chemo and the chances of my cancer coming back increases with my higher blood glucose numbers. It’s not a game to me. It really IS my life!

9. I was able to exercise for the first time in a long while! The energy coming back helped that! With the depression lifting, I was able to take care of things that I would just not have the energy or motivation to do.

10. Metformin alone just doesn’t work for me. From reading journal articles and talking with my Diabetes Educator (Nurse Cheryl Angel), I know that my insulin “switch” doesn’t go “off” which makes the hunger even worse.

11. I know that people are taking this for the wrong reasons (for weight loss instead of diabetes control) but that’s not why I want it. I don’t want to lose my feet, legs, eyesight.

12. In regards to my eyesight, I already have been diagnosed with pre-glaucoma. (Diagnosed by Dr John Cohen at Cincinnati Eye Institute 4/08) I don’t want to lose my eyesight and, if my numbers stay up, I’m afraid of that happening.

13. I do NOT want to try ANY insulin. Insulin causes weight gain and, frankly if what Dr Collins says goes, I make too much anyway. Also, I don’t want the risk of low blood glucose episodes. Especially since I am alone all day (10 – 15 hours a day) and have no one that could help me should I have an episode.

14. I don’t understand why the insurance company doesn’t want to approve this for me. Isn’t coughing up an approval now better than them having to pay even MORE for diabetes related complications in the future?

15. Crazy thing, probably not related, but my menopause symptoms got somewhat better while on the Byetta. I didn’t have as many hot flashes as I’ve been having over the past month and a half.

16. Amaryl is right out because of the warfarin I’m on.

17. Avandia has been shown to cause more fractures in women taking it. Combined with my menopause and the radiation therapy, this doesn’t seem like a very good option.

18. Just reading the information on the other diabetes drugs that could be “suggested” show that they’re used “In conjunction with diet and exercise.” I have no problem with that. I WANT to diet and exercise. HOWEVER, I think, over the years I’ve been a patient of Dr Dolensky’s, I’ve shown that diet and exercise don’t help because I’M ALWAYS HUNGRY.

19. OH YEAH! My eyesight again. I noticed a significant change in my eyesight while on Byetta. For the better! I wasn’t squinting and my eyes didn’t hurt like they do now.

20. And at the other end, the peripheral neuropathy from the chemo (and probably the diabetes) was REALLY helped while on the Byetta.

21. Januvia. A world of no. Why? Because it increases the insulin. Already make too much. Also side effects include Upper Respiratory Infections. Since I’m already VERY prone to those…I just don’t want to take something that will just make it even EASIER for me to get an URI.

22. On the subject of weight loss…it’s going to HELP the diabetes right? Why can’t I have something that’s going to HELP me??? And if it helps enough, I COULD just go to diet maintenance…right? Thus reducing the cost of diabetes related complications AND the medication costs. Without something that works on controlling the blood glucose AND taking care of the constant HUNGER, I’ll never have the chance of going on diet maintenance alone.

23. Patients can get better control, have tighter control and improve their A1C’s, isn’t that what every managed care plan wants to see happen because the cost of a patient with diabetes is several times higher than a non-diabetic. Approving the Byetta will only help my insurance costs go down.

To whom do you go?

I've been feeling down lately. I'm not sure if the effexor isn't working well anymore or if the absence of the byetta (and the resulting sugar rises and weight gain) is causing it, but I'm depressed.

I've found myself avoiding God, not reading, not praying, not even really talking with Him. I know this is not only a symptom of my depression, but also a cause of it. A never ending circle that just winds tighter and tighter with satan giggling over in the corner enjoying it all.

So I've been forcing myself to read the Bible but even what I'm reading feels like it's making the depression worse. I read some of the Psalms last night and that really helped but I want the words of Jesus, I want the Gospel, I want to be happy again.

And I don't know what to do.

Who do you go to to talk with when you feel like there's no one there? Who to you go to when you want an actual voice to respond?

And who do you go to when your spouse is desperately trying to understand but is a bit too involved with his gaming and other aspects of his life to really *listen* to you?

And when your best friend is even more depressed because of horrible job stuff and being away from her family for 4 days out of the week and you just don't want to burden her with MORE. (and shut up DogMom. This is me ranting here. ;o) )

I don't feel well. I just want to feel...NORMAL...again. Whatever the hell "Normal" is. I want it.

You can't rescue them all...

Last night I came to the realization that, although I want to rescue every cat in the world that needs a forever home, I can't.

And really, it's not a "new" realization. It was just...well sort of a smack in the face. I was reading my Bible and thinking about how so many people lack the morality quotient these days. And that lead to people who go all gooshy over a new kitten or new puppy (or even new baby) only to lose interest after said kitten/puppy/(baby) grows up.

And then I started thinking about the cats that were in the shelter when we adopted Willow and Xander. Their eyes started to haunt me and I felt sad that I just couldn't adopt them ALL.

I really do want to have a sanctuary where cats can come to live...forever if need be or just be fostered until their forever home comes along.

But until I get the fibro worked out (or whatever it is) and get myself back on the track with being able to drive again and not freak out with panic attacks, the Cat Sanctuary just...isn't...*sigh* feasible.

And it kills me each time I think of a sweet face going to sleep for the last time because someone didn't want them anymore.